February the Fourteenth

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Love it or hate it, it comes around once a year with unavoidable ferocity. Pink, red and love hearts are everywhere you go, chocolates are on special and flowers become a million times more expensive. If you’re single, it’s possibly the worst day of the year, depending on how you feel about yourself. If you’re in a relationship, you can have a bit of fun deciding whether you want to be traditional or celebrate in a way unique to you.

Personally, I despise the day. You shouldn’t need a day of the year to tell someone you love them (however you express your love), it’s commercialised to death (a close contender with Christmas) and frankly, I hate pink.

But.

In my relationship with Boyfie, Valentine’s Day is special in it’s own way. It’s the anniversary of when we first made communication with each other. I was in the middle of the desert and received a message on the dating app I was using at the time. “He’s cute,” I thought to myself. We got talking. It took us a month to actually meet, and well, the rest is history. But Valentine’s Day is the day he came into my life and that is something to be celebrated.

Also, Valentine’s Day is important to Boyfie. And as much as I hate it, it is supposed to be a day of love. And in love, you do things for and with your partner that you don’t necessarily like, but they do. Because you love them and want to make them happy. Valentine’s Day is important to Boyfie, and Boyfie is important to me. So we celebrate it together.

Now, as I am on the “Hate” side of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to go on a little tirade as to why. Here goes:

One of the reasons I hate it is that, I just don’t get it. I’m not materialistic in that sense. The thought of being showered with gifts on a day my partner feels pressure too, is, in a word, stupid. If my partner were the type to show love by gifting, I would want my partner to gift me at random because they want to, not because of a designated day where they feel that they have to. If I were the type to feel loved by being gifted, then the statement still stands. There are people who love it, love that feeling of being spoiled with choccies and teddys and special little gifts. Not me.

And that’s the other thing. The pressure of Valentine’s Day.What do I get my partner? Is one bunch of roses enough? Are three chocolate boxes going to cut it?? Do I cook from home or do we go to a swanky restaurant???

Puh-lease.

It all seems to be about the man pleasing the woman. How hideously old and boring. What about the woman spoiling the man? What about modern relationships that are not Male/Female? Where are the Valentine’s Day ads with cute lesbians or gays or non-binary folk? It’s so heteronormative, it makes me want to puke.

And what about if you’re that dreaded S-word?  Some have fun mocking the day. Some choose to drown their sorrows. Some people throw Anti-Valentine’s Day parties (which are actually a lot of fun). Being single is not a bad thing, but something about Valentine’s Day makes it look and feel like a bad thing. And Valentine’s Day is impossible to ignore, so as much as you pretend it isn’t happening, your social media is flooded with it, shops are festooned and there is no escape.

I think it is important to note, that Valentine’s Day is changing. It is evolving from a day for couples to a day of general love. The rise of “Galentine’s” for groups of single girls to go out and have love and fun with each other is a wonderful change- God knows we need more self-love in the world. Heck, I even saw a friend or two who made Valentine’s Day about their family, not just their partner.

It’s also changing in that it doesn’t have to be celebrated in a traditional “wine and dine” way. Last year, Boyfie and I saw Deadpool (the most romantic film out at the time) and then went and had dessert. So it was a little of the dine, but not entirely. We celebrated us as a couple in a way that we both love. This year was more along the wine and dine route, but because we wanted to. There are all sorts of way to show your love for a person and it doesn’t have to be on a designated day of the year, either.

I feel I should say, despite my cynicism, if your ideal Valentine’s Day is showering/being showered with gifts and that makes you both happy, then by all means, you do that. The day is about love, after all. You do you.

So, dear readers, lets have a bit of fun shall we? Leave a comment below on what you did on this February 14th and let us all share the love of love. Valentine’s Day is about that after all, and the world needs a bit of love right now.

 

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